I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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