Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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