did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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