In the future we'll all be gay
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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