the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
