Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
