We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
