ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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