he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
