Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Randomize
