Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize