I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize