i used baking grease as lip gloss
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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