Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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