Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
