Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
