i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
