woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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