I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
