Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
