So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
