I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Randomize
