you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
