i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
