you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
