Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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