? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
