She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
