Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
he's single and there are thong briefs.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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