I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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