Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
