Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
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