Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Randomize
