was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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