oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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