Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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