Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Randomize
