her facebook's as public as her vagina
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
