Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
