you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I forget how to act sober
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
