HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
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