I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Randomize
