I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize