You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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