the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
