bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
