hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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