I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
