What a fucking waste of an outfit
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
