got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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