Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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