what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
The beers last night were like the tears from god
As shirtless as possible
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
