I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
