ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
