sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
