I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize