nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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