We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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