Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
