Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
