i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
