There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
