So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
