Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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